Bad Medicine (Wolf Love Book 4) Read online

  She shrinks into herself as she whispers, “Because it is spiritual. And they’ll see me. They’ll see through me.”

  I think about what she’s saying. It’s vague, and I can tell she’s starting to get more and more uncomfortable. She probably doesn’t want to clarify what she means.

  She’s exposing herself to me. She’s vulnerable.

  The least I can do is find a Band-Aid for her.

  “You’ve changed a lot in the last seven years?”

  She nods, still not looking at me and shrinking even more.

  “You think you’ve changed for the worse?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve just changed.”

  I don’t know what to say, so I offer the only thing I can. “Maybe this year, I’ll go with you. Maybe they’ll still see you, but I’ll be there to…to be there for you.”

  She looks up at me, blinking, looking a little stunned. “You’d want to go?”

  I nod. “Yeah.”

  Something flickers across her dark gaze. Something that looks a lot like hope. “I—I used to be one of the dancers.”

  I smile. “I’d like to see that.”

  “I wear a pink suede dress with elks’ teeth that rattle. Would that freak you out?”

  I wince, because I feel like a pervert when I imagine her in that pink suede dress. I really like that image. “It—it sounds kind of hot.”

  She smiles. “Even the elks’ teeth?”

  “Yeah, sorry. I know it’s probably a spiritual thing, and me thinking it’s hot is more than likely really inappropriate.”

  She bites her bottom lip. “I like your inappropriateness.”

  That makes me laugh. “Thanks. I’m really good at inappropriate, so we’ll get along fine.”

  She leans her head back against my shoulder. “Ryder?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Are you ready to take that shower yet?”

  Chapter Fifteen - Asha

  Ryder made a joke, wondering if I thought he smelled bad and that’s where the shower suggestion came from. We laughed, while I tried to reassure him he smelled great, and he does. Somehow, we got off the couch and are here, in his bathroom, the shower turned on, and staring at each other with our smiles falling away.

  He’s been without a shirt this whole time, but it seems that now, with the water running, I notice him all the more.

  “Do you workout?” I can’t believe I ask that, but I have to know how he has such defined abs and his chest is so big, so powerful, making me ache to run my fingers over him—both in professional admiration but especially from personal pleasure.

  He nods. “You?”

  I shrug. “I kind of run.”

  “Kind of?”

  “Well, I don’t do it every day. Maybe every other day. Sometimes I lift a weight or two.”

  He softly chuckles.

  “You lift weights, don’t you?”

  He nods. “Try to.”

  He’s being humble. I bet he’s one of those guys in the gym who other people watch, amazed he can push around things that weigh as much as a car. Or a country.

  He’s looking at me, his gaze sliding down. “I can tell you run. You have great legs.”

  “Really?”

  He takes a long time before he looks into my eyes, slowly nodding and smiling at me in a way I think is like a wolf before he attacks a bunny. I feel a tad like prey and have to swallow. The thing is, I know he’s not going to touch me. Not only because he brokered the deal for the shower with the “no touching” clause but also he’s a man of his word.

  So, after a big breath, I don’t feel the tingles of fear skitter down my back. Not any longer. This is just going to be a shower. To wash. And ogle each other, of course.

  “We’d better get in the shower before you run out of hot water.”

  He nods again.

  “You going to stay in your pajamas for the shower?”

  “You going to stay in that t-shirt?”

  I shake my head but can’t find the nerve to take off said shirt.

  He arches a brow. “Ladies first.”

  I shake my head once more. “Oh, but this is your bathroom. I think you should go first to…take off your clothes.”

  He growls and slowly lifts a hand to pull on his gray drawstrings. The knot is slowly undone, and I’m watching everything with an intensity I’ve never felt before. Between my legs there’s this sensation—a feeling of pleasure, yes, but also it aches, like I need something.

  So this is hard-core desire—a need to feel full. Of him.

  I swallow again and watch as he takes a breath, his stomach muscles contracting, then he pushes his pajama pants down, kicking them off and away. Holy…holy…holy something. I don’t know because words are suddenly hard to come by as I gaze at his narrow hips and his erection that’s stretched across his boxer briefs. He’s a big man. I mean big. Really big. Huge.

  I’m reconsidering him being my first. There’s no way something that big could ever…

  But at the same time, I’m really, really intrigued. He’s fascinating to look at. What I’m staring at twitches. I jump and giggle, covering my mouth with my hands.

  “You’re getting him excited with the way you’re looking at him.” Ryder’s voice is a growl, and he’s smiling at me with that predatory look again.

  “Him?”

  His boxer briefs twitch again. “Him.”

  I bite my bottom lip. “You have a name for him, don’t you?”

  “Of course.”

  I laugh, glancing up into his eyes that are darker than I’ve ever seen them. “What’s his name?”

  He inhales. “When he’s good, he’s Steve.”

  “Steve’s a nice name.”

  “See, I thought so too.”

  “And when he’s bad?”

  He rolls his eyes and I swear I see a little pink land on his chest and rise through his neck to his cheeks. “Bone Ranger.”

  I try not to laugh too loud, but come on. “Ryder, you are such a guy. Oh my god, you are such a guy to name it that.”

  He glances down my body. “What do you call yours?”

  I blink, and here’s where I get uncomfortable. “I—I’ve never—I—”

  He steps closer. “We gotta give her a name. I mean, I know most women don’t like the word pussy.”

  “Wow, you say that so easily.”

  He shrugs with one shoulder. “I am a guy. I’ve said pussy a lot.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s really awesome.”

  I laugh but feel a twinge of jealousy because he’s known other women’s vaginas and vulvas. God, I sound like a physician, don’t I?

  He shrugs yet again, glancing at the space between us, looking a little sheepish. “Guys talk. To other guys. We’re a bunch of apes, telling stories. None you can believe.”

  I like that he’s trying to make it sound as if he hasn’t actually been around other women and their…pussies. Yikes, that word is so weird. And it’s then I realize that Ryder has put me at ease. He’s distracted me from the fact that I’m uncomfortable with my body. I mean, I try not to be and in the mirror I kind of like what I see. But touching, being touched…until Ryder, I hated that aspect of my body. Often, I feel there’s a big space between me and my skin. Like I’m not quite connected to my physical being.

  “So what do you want to call her?” he asks, looking excited and happy. At my crotch.

  I shrug. “I’m really not sure.”

  “Try out some names.”

  “Caterina.”

  He nods. “Exotic.”

  I laugh. He’s so much fun and I love this, picking out a name for my pussy. Wow, that word does become easier once it’s been acknowledged.

  “So is Caterina for when she’s good?”

  I shrug. “I have no idea.”

  “Does Caterina ever get…naughty?”

  I slowly nod.

  He runs a hand through his hair. “Jesus, we’re never going to take a show
er at this rate.”

  I laugh, which comes so easy with him. “Okay, should we take off our clothes at the same time?”

  He nods. “Good idea.”

  I grab the bottom hem of the t-shirt, but he stops me by saying, “But, hey, I have one thing to take off. And you have two.”

  “How do you know what I have to take off?”

  He frowns. “I know.”

  Then, feeling happy and carefree, I just fling off the t-shirt. “Fine. Now I have only my panties to take off.”

  He’s staring at my breasts. “Holy fucking hell.”

  I cup myself, covering my nipples. “I can’t tell if that string of swearwords is a good thing or not.”

  He blinks and slowly looks up at me. “Asha, baby, I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. It’s good. Fucking trust me. And when you cover yourself like that, it…shit, wow. You’re so fucking sexy. I’m sorry. I keep swearing. But I can’t stop. You’re so sexy.”

  Slowly, I drop my hands, and his mouth opens a little. Already, I was turned on, but now my breasts feel full, achy, and my clitoris is screaming to be touched, which surprises me. I want him to touch me. He’s right. This is a wow moment.

  “Let’s take off our underwear.”

  He slowly nods, looking drunk.

  “One…”

  He smiles with one side of his lips.

  “Two…” I curl my thumbs into the waistline of my panties as he does something similar with his briefs.

  “Three!” I nearly scream and scurry to take off the last shred of clothing I have on.

  I can’t look at him when I’m completely nude and race into the shower with him chuckling behind me. I’m giggling and feeling silly when he walks in. Oh lord. Oh lordy, lordy, lord.

  Somehow, with him completely bare, he looks a lot bigger than I thought him to be. And I’m not just talking about the size of his penis. He is a foot taller than me, and although I’d grown accustomed to his mammoth chest and wide shoulders, seeing all of him makes me feel in awe. His legs are muscular and he has scars here and there that I’d like to touch and investigate, see if I know what wounded him. And although I won’t tell him this part, I always think that had I been his doctor, I would have stitched him better, made sure his scars were smaller, caused less pain. But that’s just a weird fantasy of mine.

  His Steve is huge, turgid. He’s circumcised—no prepace or foreskin. Amazing. Human anatomy fascinates me. Had I any talent in art, I would paint, sculpt, and draw human bodies all day, especially replicate Ryder’s body. And his gorgeous penis or way-too-big Bone Ranger.

  “You’re so…” I can’t finish because I’m not sure how to. Tell him he’s beautiful? Yeah, he’d like that. Men love being told they’re pretty.

  But he is. I love his scars. He has tattoos all over his body, his chest, shoulders, arms, stomach, even one on his outer thigh and another on his calf. Celtic symbols and knots, Latin and English words here and there—Honorem, meaning honor, is a repeated theme.

  “You too.” His voice is low, raspy, making me look up at him.

  He’s gazing at my breasts, my soft stomach, and lower.

  “I used to be a lot skinnier.”

  He glances up but then resumes his inspection. “Asha, you’re so perfect.” Then he shrugs. “Well, you’re still on the skinny side.”

  I laugh. “No, I’m not.”

  He shakes his head as he smiles at my breasts. “I love your curves, your little body.”

  He said love and I’m shocked. I’m not sure how to handle that word, here, with Ryder. I can’t get my heart involved. I can’t.

  The problem is, I think it’s already involved.

  I probably won’t walk away from this deal unscathed. So I’m just going to have to toughen up. Build walls around my heart.

  But when I look at him, I forget all of that.

  “Can I see your back? Oh! Sorry. Do you want to be in the water?”

  He smiles. “You aren’t in the water.”

  “Yeah, but I’m hogging the area.”

  He shrugs. “I’ll wait. And you can see my back after I see yours.”

  I roll my eyes. “You are so bossy.” But I slowly turn, tugging my hair over my shoulder, making sure I still can see him as I bare my back.

  His jawline kicks and his focus is even more intense as his gaze dips to my backside.

  “You have the greatest little ass.”

  I try to glance down. “Really?”

  “Yeah.” Again, his voice is raw. Really raw.

  He likes my body. He said he loves it. And this deal might be easier to break than I thought.

  Right here, with him looking at me, I think I’m ready to have sex. Surprisingly, I can feel my own liquid on my inner thighs. My clitoris is throbbing. I can have sex. I can lose my virginity right here and now.

  I’ve never seduced a man, but I can try. And if I get what I bargained for soon, then I won’t end up falling in love with a man who would probably laugh at my overly romantic tendencies.

  But, something inside me nags, he likes more than my body. I think he likes me. And he made that promise to go to the powwow with me. That’s four months away. But he couldn’t have meant it.

  I glance at the word honorem scribbled across part of his upper stomach.

  Could he have meant it?

  I can’t risk my heart if he didn’t.

  So I’m going to seduce him.

  “Ryder?”

  He slowly nods, not taking his gaze from my ass.

  “If we didn’t have the deal, what would you do to me? Now?”

  His nostrils flare. “My hands would be on your hips, on your butt. I’d feel you with my palms and fingers. I’d memorize the way your tiny waist dips in, the way your hips flare out.” He glances up at me, licking his lips. “Then I’d flatten my hands against your stomach and climb up to your gorgeous breasts, cupping and caressing them, rubbing your nipples. I’d hope it would feel so good that you’d arch your back, your ass pressed against me, my cock straining—” he closes his eyes. “Jesus, I could write a bad romance.”

  I throatily chuckle, praying the sound is sexy. “I liked it. And I would never call that a bad romance. Maybe because I read romances myself.”

  He shutters his lids open. “Yeah? My sister does too.”

  “You don’t?”

  He doesn’t answer but just looks at my butt again. Yes, I’m going to seduce him by doing exactly what he just said. I arch my back, pushing my bent ass toward him, knowing that part of Caterina is exposed to him. His erection twitches and grows right in front of me, and already his size was massive. I know. I’m a doctor. But he’s swelling even more, the glans penis or what people call the head of him, is turning purplish. He makes fists at his sides.

  “What do you want to do to me, Ryder?” I tilt my backside at him even more but am met full-force with water in my face.

  I have to straighten and wipe my eyes, getting out of the spray. When I glance at Ryder, he’s trying not to laugh.

  “Serves you right, little vixen, trying to seduce me like that.”

  I purse my lips. “You can’t blame a girl for trying.”

  He frowns but it’s momentary. A grin spreads across his face soon enough. “Let’s wash up. I’m going to need to since I broke out in a sweat, no thanks to you.”

  I shrug and get my hair wet, letting the water wash over me as I grab one of Ryder’s all-in-one shampoo and conditioner combos which will probably dry out my tresses. What is it with men, buying the worst stuff for their hair but it’s always healthy and soft?

  Without talking, Ryder and I switch sides while I wash my hair and he’s getting wet. I thought he was gorgeous when he was dry but wet is simply gobsmacking.

  He’s soaping his body. My hair is piled on my head, all sudsy, when out of my uncensored mouth comes a question I’m dying to know, but should know better than to ask. “Will you get epididymal hypertension after this?”

&n
bsp; He glances at me then down his body at his still huge penis. “Probably. Probably get a good case of blue balls, yes.”

  “It does hurt, right?”

  He shrugs, washing under his arms, which makes his massive muscles ripple with every movement. “Yeah. I mean, it’s not going to stop me from trying to figure out a way to torture you later for pulling that stunt.”

  I smile. “So it does hurt, but not a lot?”

  He looks down at me, his brows knitting together. “Why?”

  We switch sides again, and I’m rinsing off the shampoo-slash-conditioner, when I say, “I don’t like the idea of you in pain.”

  He makes a scoffing noise. “I’ll be okay. Besides, you’ll probably get something like it too.”

  I straighten and rub the water from my eyes. “Well, aren’t you a little cocky?”

  He smiles. “I saw you, Asha. You’re wet. And not from the shower.”

  I narrow my eyes at him but then think of a different strategy other than trying to deny the obvious. “If I suddenly disappeared, would you masturbate?”

  His jawline punches. “Probably. If I suddenly disappeared, would you?”

  I blink and have to look away, confessing, “Probably.”

  “So you do touch yourself?”

  I nod, feeling a little embarrassed. But the embarrassment washes away with Ryder’s big grin. God, he’s so beautiful when he smiles like that.

  “That’s hot.”

  I look away again, not necessarily from humiliation, but more…well, when he first looked at me the way he is, all I’m-going-to-eat-you-alive, I was intimidated. Now, I’m just getting further turned on. I’m so aware of the apex of my legs, of tingles of desire pulsing through the hard little nub at the base of me, and how internally I ache. My nipples are beading even though the water is warm and I’m warm too. I’m hyper-aware of my breasts, how they feel full, and there’s this sensation, the need to be touched.

  “So, um, what would I have to do…” I pause, wondering if I have the guts to ask what I want. But, somehow, I do. Maybe because I want this, him, so much. “What would I have to do to watch you masturbate?”

  His mouth parts a little and his warm brown eyes darken even more. “You want to watch me?”

  I nod.