Bad Medicine (Wolf Love Book 4) Read online

  “Am I doing it wrong?” Her voice is unbelievably sexy, filled with desire, but it cracks, showing me her vulnerability.

  “A little too perfect, baby.” I reassure and caress some of her hair from her cheek.

  She turns to me, her whole body turns, and then she shuffles close until her stomach touches my erection. I clutch at her hips, making her stop. Even just that little tap has my blood coursing with need. The need to be inside her already.

  Her eyes are huge as she feels me. The little vixen wraps a leg around my hip. She’s adjusting her body, scooting up a little more. Her hot pussy meets Steve. And a jolt of desire, unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, shoots through me.

  She moans and arches her neck, her head thrown back. “Ah, here you are.”

  I’m not thinking, just reacting to how good she feels, how perfectly she fits against me. Holding her hips, I grind against her. Again and again, I move. She’s wearing panties. But no bra. Her breasts aren’t confined, and I could have them in my greedy palms. But I love holding her feminine hips. She’s so perfect to hold like this. Or even better to hold like this when we’re both naked and I’m inside her.

  “Mmm, Ryder,” she whispers, my name sounding like a prayer.

  God, she’s getting to me. I want her so much, and she’s making it so hard to think.

  But I have to.

  Somehow, something inside me knows this isn’t what I want. I mean, yeah, I’d like to fuck her, and from what I’ve been told I’m good at what I do. But can I make Asha fall in love with me by fucking her? Steve says yes, but Steve isn’t exactly known to be smart.

  What helps is the idea of meeting her family. Would she take me to her folks if I was only the best fuck she’d ever had? No.

  So, I somehow push her away. Steve wailing. And my body nearly spasming from the withdrawal, but I have to do this.

  I smile at her. “Sorry.”

  “Sorry?”

  “Yeah. Kind of lost my mind for a minute there.”

  She blinks, looking confused and still turned on. Her cheeks are flushed, her eyes are glassy, and she keeps breathing hard, her breasts rising and falling in a seductive way, almost coaxing me to touch them.

  “Good,” she says, a little loudly too. “I want you to lose your mind.”

  I shake my head. “No, you don’t, baby. I’m not good when I lose it.”

  She’s starting to look angry and at the risk of being an asshole, I think she’s so cute like that. “But—but I want you to be bad.”

  I shudder a little from her words because she has no idea how I want to be bad too. How I want to roll on top of her, feel her body under mine, feel her nipples jutting against me, have her open her legs and slide home.

  “No, you don’t want that, baby.” I’m telling myself that more than her now.

  She’s caressing my neck, making my on-fire body blaze hotter. “Yes, I really do.”

  I growl, not in an angry way, but I’m getting frustrated as fuck. I’ve never done this before, held back, waited until we got to know each other better to have sex. Maybe I should call it making love because that’s what I want to do to Asha.

  I gather her hands in mine, kissing them, smiling, trying to regain some kind of control. “Now, what do you want to do today? I figure, we have four days of doing whatever you want.”

  She blinks, a look of disbelief crossing through her dark gaze. Then she yanks free from me and flops on her back, pounding a fist into the mattress, growling with, I’m pretty sure, a lot of frustration too. “I want—I want—I want you to…”

  “You want me to…we could go for a drive. It’s spring. The roads are nice now. We could check out some of the little towns around here.”

  She growls again, slamming her fist into my mattress once more. And I’m slowly catching on that she’s more than frustrated. She’s really angry at something. Great. I’ve already fucked up.

  She lifts to one elbow, staring me down, her eyes glistening with some kind of intense feeling. “I don’t want to go on a drive. I want—I want—I want—God, why can’t I just say it?”

  I lift to my elbow too, wondering what I’ve said or done. Well, dry humping her wasn’t a good call, obviously. I shouldn’t have given in to that urge. Steve should have shut the fuck up.

  She sits up and I do too. She’s sitting cross-legged, and I’m trying to figure out how to do something similar when she growls again.

  She smacks me against my shoulder. “You can’t tell what I want?”

  I shake my head. “I’m a guy. I’m the furthest thing from a mind reader, baby. You’re going to have to spell it out.” Then I realize I should apologize again. For dry humping her. Not that it’s easy to apologize for something I desperately wanted and still want to do. “I’m sorry. I was being a bastard, trying to get in your pants. I’ll be—”

  “Yes, that’s what I want.”

  I blink, something cracking through my skull. I shake my head, not believing what she said, so I have to ask. “You want me…to get in your pants, actually panties. I can tell you’re wearing your panties.”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes? To you’re still wearing your panties?”

  She kind of smiles, but then is back to being frustrated mixed with a little angry. “No. I mean, yes, I’m still wearing panties. But yes, to the other thing too.”

  I straighten, really not believing her. “To getting in your panties?”

  “Yes. That’s what I want.”

  I jump off the bed, needing to get away from her because Steve—the traitor, the fucker—is totally on board with that. He’s roaring in my ears. He’s figuring out positions and how long the first time will be. The second will be longer. We do all sorts of acrobatic moves the second and third time.

  Raking a hand through my hair, I realize I need a haircut. Great time to think about it, but I do. It’s getting long and gets in my eyes now. But I’ve thought about Asha channeling her long skinny fingers through my hair and pulling. Fuck, I want that.

  “What?” Is all I can ask, trying not to look at her as well as trying to shield the part of me that’s still saluting her. Really saluting. Even with my boxer briefs, it’s obvious how much I want her.

  She sighs and looks defeated. “I—I want you…to…you know…I want you to…God, I’m an adult, but I can’t seem to say—” She cuts herself off, her eyes growing even rounder, bigger, almost sad. “Because I’ve never asked for it before.”

  “Never asked for what before?”

  She rolls her eyes. “Sex, Ryder. I’ve never asked for sex before.”

  “But we hardly know each other.” Can you believe I said that? I can’t. I’m truly stymied from the things spewing from my mouth. It’s like I’m a whole different person with her. But that’s good. I doubt she’d like the other me who would fuck her and leave her.

  She blinks, looking confused. “I—I know. But—but—but—but—oh, for fuck’s sake.”

  I like that she’s sworn. It makes me feel better. But when her shoulders slump and she’s looking even more defeated I want to cradle her to me, hold her, promise her that everything will be okay.

  She looks down at the bedding, her fingers playing with a seam. “I—I’m going to tell you something. But I don’t want you to ask me any questions. I’m just going to tell you something and that will be that, okay?”

  She peeks up from her extra-long black lashes. She’s so cute looking at me like that. I love it. My chest contracts around my heart and I nod, willing to do whatever she wants of me.

  She looks down again, resuming playing with the blue comforter. “I—I’ve never slept with a man before. Last night was all new to me.”

  Oh fuck. My brain clicks with information that I can’t quite grasp.

  “I liked it. A lot.” She sighs. “I’d like to do it again if you’re willing. But what I really want—See—Okay, I’m very attracted to you. I’ve never been this attracted to anyone before. And I—I was thinking,
since I think you’re attracted to me too, is that—Okay, I’m going to tell you this. I—I’m a virgin, Ryder. I’ve never…but I want to. With you.”

  You know what sucks about being a man? Once I start thinking about sex, I can’t seem to stop. It’s like I’m a runaway train, and my brain tries to figure out ways to keep thinking about sex until I find a way to help my erection. And once I think about her being a virgin, I can imagine slowly pushing myself inside her. I’d be gentle. I’d watch her, make sure every inch of my cock made her want more of me. I’d circle her clit, making her writhe against me, making her cry out, making her come with me inside her.

  “Ryder?”

  I’m sucking in air as if my life depended on it. “Did you say something? Because I kind of blacked out after you said you were a virgin.”

  She looks crestfallen. “God, I suck.”

  I rush to the bed, holding her arms, caressing her hair from her face. “No. Why would you say that?”

  “Because I’m a twenty-five-year-old virgin. In this day and age, who stays a virgin this long? I’m a freak. And now you don’t want me. If you wanted me at all.”

  I try not to laugh, but I shake my head, brushing even more hair from her cheek. Jesus, I love her crazy hair. “No. Oh, no.” She’s been so vulnerable with me and it’s only fair to be the same. “I’m not trying to be a pervert, but look down at my pajama pants.”

  She does and her eyes pop wide when she glances at my rock hard cock. Her mouth opens and that does nothing for calming me down. “Wow.”

  “Don’t do that, honey. You’re making it hard to think.”

  “Do what?” She looks at me with her innocent eyes. God, why didn’t I see that before?

  I grind my teeth. “I guess, do anything. Fuck, yes, I want you. I find you almost unbearably attractive. I want you so bad I hurt.”

  She smiles and leans forward, but I push her back.

  “But—Okay, I’m going to tell you something. I’ve never had sex with a virgin.”

  She blinks. “Never?”

  “Never.” I suck in a breath. “So, yeah, we’ll take this slow. We’ll work our way slowly towards sex.”

  “Why?” she asks, her voice dripping with frustration.

  Why, the woman asks. And part of me is wondering why too.

  “Because it’s the right thing to do.”

  She frowns. “But I want to have the sex. Now.”

  Every bone in my body almost breaks from trying to hold myself back, from trying to think and be reasonable. But I do it. I shake my head. “I’m not just going to fuck you, sweetheart.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because—” God, why can’t I argue my point? Everything she counters is irresistible and makes me want to jump her. But that’s not what I want. I want her to be mine, not just her body, but her heart too, and that big brain of hers. Everything that is Asha, I want to be mine. So I decide to turn the tables. “Why do you want me to just fuck you?”

  She opens her plush lips, thinking. “I—Okay, you can’t ask me any questions after I say this, but I no longer want to be a virgin.”

  “Today?”

  “I said you can’t ask me questions.”

  “You can’t order me around, Dr. Bossy Pants.”

  She smiles but then looks down, sadness passing through her dark gaze. “I—I just don’t want to be a virgin any longer. I—I—I want to be normal.”

  Although I’m turned on and want to be inside her with a screaming-level of desire, something about what she just said makes me pause.

  “You are normal.”

  She rolls her eyes that are quickly filling with tears. “Sure.”

  I wrap my hands carefully around her cheeks, lifting her face to meet mine. “Asha, don’t you know it yet?”

  “Know what?”

  I shake my head. “I guess, I’m not a good judge about what’s normal or not, but, fuck, woman, I want you in the worst way. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  She gives me a teary smile. “Really?”

  “Yeah.”

  “So you’ll…fuck me?”

  I have to close my eyes and shake my head, trying to get the image of Asha while saying those words out of my mind. But holy hell, what a turn on.

  After breathing slowly for a few moments, I can open my eyes again. “We’ll take our time, and we’ll—”

  She growls. “But that makes me feel even less normal. ‘We’ll take our time…’ Don’t men just fuck women who aren’t virgins? Why take our time?”

  I laugh at her mimicking me. Her voice went deep and kind of angry-sounding. And she’s so adorable.

  “Because I want to take my time with you. Get to know you—”

  “Would you do that with other women?”

  I grind my teeth, feeling defensive because although I’ve never been embarrassed of my past regarding sex—I’ve kind of been proud of myself for being a player—I’m ashamed with her.

  “Of course you wouldn’t.” Her hands flutter to the ceiling in emphasis of her statement. “You would fuck her. Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean—”

  “I’m not going to just fuck you, Asha.” I get out of bed. Again. Pacing the floor.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I won’t.”

  “Because I’m a virgin.”

  Now I’m mad, although I’m not sure why. Probably because she’s getting very close to having me admit my feelings for her. That I’m falling for her, and it sucks that she just wants me to fuck her. Something in my stomach feels hollow.

  She just wants me to fuck her. I get it now. That’s all she wants. From me.

  “No.” I growl, yanking my fingers through my hair again. God, it hurts a lot more than I thought it would to be wanted for my cock and what it can do.

  She comes to her knees on the bed, waving her hands around. “Then why not?”

  “Because it’s you,” I yell. I don’t mean to be so loud. But I am. She kind of winces at what I’ve said. And I want to fucking take it back because I’m finally understanding what’s going on. Of course she wouldn’t want me. Just my dick. She knows she’s too good for me. She already knows it.

  I turn away from her and rub my sternum, right where my heart is doing this stupid thing, feeling like it’s shriveling up. I’m searching my room, looking for ways out, realizing I might have to move again because this is fucking embarrassing. And probably karma too—me falling for a woman who only wants my cock, which even makes obnoxious Steve sad enough to be his normal size in my pajamas.

  Somehow my gaze tracks to Adam’s Red Sox’s hat. It’s what his family gave me after his death. We became friends in Basic and were in the same unit and kind of inseparable until his death. I’ve never met another man I felt so close to. Other than my sister, I’ve never felt like I could be open and just be myself with anyone. But with Adam, he made me feel good while hanging out with him. He made me laugh. And I hope I made him laugh too.

  I felt that way about Asha. I felt like I was a better man just for knowing her.

  Fuck, I was stupid.

  Or is she stupid? Stupid about sex and love, if this is love. And maybe she doesn’t know a good thing if it bit her on the ass, which I can do. I should do.

  I turn around, thinking, finally getting smart about how I’m going to win Asha over. “Okay. Okay. Here’s the deal.” I try to stop grinding my teeth when I look at her. She’s so fucking gorgeous. In my bed. In my t-shirt. Her hair messy and her cheeks ablaze from desire and our argument. But I will win her. I will make her mine. “I’ll fuck you. Only if you give me what I want.”

  She blinks. “What’s that?”

  “Time. Time with me, getting to know me, and I get to know you.”

  “You’ll…fuck me now and then we’ll hang out?”

  “No way, honey. I’m not that dumb. I know you can break your end of the deal.” I cross my arms. “You have to give me time, plenty of time, first. Then I’ll fuck you.”


  She settles her butt down, sitting on her shins. “Can I negotiate this deal?”

  I shrug. “You can try.”

  She licks her lips, driving me crazy. “Okay. How about this? What if we spend a chunk of time together, getting to know each other, then we can—I don’t know—parse out the sex stuff?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Like, we could have a dinner date, and I can kiss your chest. Naked. Or we could have a long drive and that could get you to second base. Stuff like that.”

  I cock a brow. “I like it. Yeah. That could work.”

  She smiles. “Okay. Then, it’s a deal, Mr. Ryder.” She extends her hand to me.

  I close the gap between us to shake her hand, knowing that I won’t be honorable with my end of the bargain. I’m going to make her hang out with me, grow to like me, and then fall for me. Fall so hard that when it’s time to have sex, she’ll ask me to make love to her.

  Fuck, yeah, I’m going to hustle this girl and make her fall in love with me.

  Chapter Thirteen - Asha

  There is no way I can let this deal stand, I think as I’m shaking Ryder’s hand, smiling at him. If I spend more time getting to know the sweet considerate man he is, then I’ll fall. I’ll fall hard. And be broken by the time I lose my virginity because I seriously doubt he’s the kind of man who falls for a girl like me. Or falls ever.

  In fact, I don’t understand his need for time with me, for getting to know me. Already my mind is whirling with romantic notions, like he might be more than merely attracted to me. Which is silly and makes me angry that I even think it. My stupid cherry-hued vision is going to give me a broken heart if I’m not careful. Because this is real life, where men like Ryder don’t fall.

  I have to stay on top of this deal or else I’ll wind up becoming a lovesick puppy over him. So, it’s time to up the ante.

  He’s finally breaking into a smile, glancing at me, his brown eyes warm and there’s a slight edge of cocky in his expression, as if he’s pretty sure he knows how to strong-arm me. Ha! We’ll see about that Mr. Know-It-All.